I promised I’d let you all know how our experience with Whole30 went, so I have been pondering all the hairy details I’d like to share. I have to say, as a nursing mother I heard lots of resistance to Whole30, along with lots of positive encouragement. I heard of women whose milk supply decreased to almost nothing and of women who felt their milk was more nutrient-dense, and saw their baby thriving. I have also heard of women who were so eager to get rid of their baby-weight that they were not terribly concerned if they were forced into weaning the baby, or in some cases, they were ready to stop nursing. It’s all up to them, I say, but for me I wanted to keep nursing, and as a matter of fact, I was hoping Whole30 would improve nursing for me and Killian. If you spend any time with me and my family, you know the dirty diaper would hit the fan if I suddenly chose to stop nursing. Killian simply loves nursing, and I utilize it for more than simply feeding him. Before I explain how I approached Whole30 as a breastfeeding mother, allow me to tell you how the Coffman family got into this to begin with.
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Everyday I get the readings emailed to me from the USCCB. I usually hold onto the email until the next day, rarely taking the time to read it. Yesterday I had a few minutes to sit down with the readings and pray with them.
"Blessed are those who hope in the Lord" was the responsorial psalm, and it basically sums up a conversation God and I have been having for the past several days. I've struggled with anxiety since puberty, I'd say, (just think: 13 year old girl. *shutter*) and I have struggled with being a perfectionist since I entered the world almost 25 years ago. (Mom, I know you're laughing and nodding your head.) I've been really torn up inside about the things in my life that aren't perfect (to me), and I have been putting this unnecessary burden on myself to "fix" all-the-things. I get like this a lot; I start to feel suffocated by the unfixable imperfection I see. I allow myself to become overwhelmed by the challenges life throws at me; my dusties, as I like to say on here. Allow me to invite you into some of these anxious moments I have had the past few days and show you how the Lord has held my hand through it all. After Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden, they were filled with knowledge. This knowledge was of good and evil, and they were cognitively and spiritually brought to a lifelong cross road of good and evil. This is why they hid and clothed themselves. In short, they saw and felt the possibility of not being loved as they are. I could go into this on many different levels and down several avenues, but what I realize strikes me most about Adam and Eve’s reaction to the Fall is how insecure they were in their bodies. They were afraid of being seen, and they were ashamed of themselves.
I have always felt this effect of the Fall. I have had a hard time feeling accepted for the way I look physically and for my personality. We all feel this effect in one way or another, I believe. I had an outstanding experience early in my college years where I tangibly felt God’s grace relieve me from years of heart-wrenching, self-destructive physical insecurities. Sometimes I forget that He showed me His mercy, love, and truth so clearly some short years ago and that, to this day, I do not suffer as deeply as I once did. But, although I believe He healed me, I am still a fallen human who can choose God's will one moment and choose against it the next. What I mean by that is: I can choose to follow His commandments or not, and I can also choose to believe His truth about myself or not. The new titles I have, namely “wife” and “mother”, stir up new challenges in my life, and they call me to be much more selfless than I ever have had to be. With this new territory comes fears and, in all honestly, failure. I can't help but feel ashamed and insecure at times, and I can allow it to cripple me. So, I have decided to work toward self-love in these times of self-doubt. I must recall that, despite my human nature, I am more than I sometimes believe. Moreover, I need to love myself to really let others see and love me. I need to remember the truth and good that is in me and in others. So, I challenged myself to write down five things I wish to be better at, things I can slowly work on. And, I challenged myself to write down ten things I realize are good about myself. And here they are: One of Megan's favorite things to do is write down her thoughts. She loves to write me notes for my birthday and special holidays. You can find pieces of paper all over the house of all her thoughts from budgeting notes to workout plans. She finds comfort in putting her thoughts on paper. I am not that person. But one day as we were sitting around I had this great idea that Megan and I should blog together. So here it is.
Since Megan gave a wonderful introduction to our a blog, I figured I would give the introduction to our story. Most people know that we went to college together and figure that we met in college, dated, and fell in love. Well love never seems to be that simple. Actually, it took about 3000 miles and a year for us to fall in love. I still remember those moments that I began to fall for her. April 2012: Megan and I never actually dated in college. The one time we had a chance to date was my senior year and i was in a very different part of my life at that time. It was the first sign that she was the woman i was going to spend the rest of my life with. She was a small group leader on a retreat i was running and gave one of the best testimonies I have ever heard. I remember the feeling of amazement of how strong and holy a person she was. For the next couple of weeks after the retreat I would go to her room after cheer practice (another story for another time) and just sit with her as she did her homework. She was amazing, but something didn't feel right in that moment. I walked away and never gave her any good reason. Looking back I realized that I wasn't prepared to be the man she deserved. February 2013: I have lived in Alaska for about 5 months. Megan and I were speaking again and I spent the last 2 months talking to her about the struggles of moving to Alaska. I slowly began to realize that she was the only woman I wanted to talk to. We talked every single day and began to get very close. We were at the point of our relationship where we either try this crazy relationship 3000 miles apart or I could just let her go. We talked about our relationship about every night, but I was scared to take the leap. There came a moment in February that I felt i should truly tell her how I feel. I remember it clearly on Tuesday February 12th, I had decided that I wanted nobody else but her. I had decided to buy her flowers for V-Day and I was going to tell her in the morning that I wanted to be with her. Little did i know that the next morning would be one of the hardest days in our relationship. Looking back I realized that I wasn't prepared to be the man she deserved. May 2013: Megan and I haven't talked for almost 3 months at this. She didn't talk to me all through lent. I remember when we first started talking again. The feelings of anger and frustration came back, not because she didn't talk to me, but because I didn't tell her how i felt sooner. I was in love with her since that Wednesday morning when she called to tell me she couldn't talk to me. We talked for about 2 week before I decided to take the leap and finally ask her on a date. At the time I lived 3000 miles apart and there was only one chance I would get to see her. I told her I would be in DC for a retreat and would love to see her. We spent that whole day together going to lunch, the zoo, and I even got to meet her parents. The days after that were hard. I remember vividly the time I spent in prayer trying to find ways to tell her how i feel. I remember the night at the retreat I called her and told her she was the only one I wanted to be with. Then, on June 7th, 2013 I asked her to be my girlfriend 3000 miles away when I was in a little town in the middle of nowhere Alaska because I knew there was no one else I wanted to be with. I felt for the first time that I had become the man she deserved. That was the easy part of our relationship now we had to figure out how to date 3000 miles apart. But that is a story for another time. Jake My husband is incredible. He kindly listens to me when I bemoan the beautiful life we have and he encourages me to do the things I am (or seem) passionate about. This year alone (and it isn't even 60 days into the year) he has successfully accomplished a Whole30 with me! That is a huge deal for a man who's veins use to be 50% blood, 50% Dr. Pepper. Now, after I whined about my failing blog, he told me he'd like an in on the blog. So we're taking this thing on together. Husband and wife. Father and mother. I hope you enjoy our musings; Killian seems to think its a dandy idea^. We hope to bring you our thoughts on our lifestyle as passionately Catholic people. I will definitely have one or both of us let you know what we thought of Whole30. And, I'll let you know what this wanna-be SAHM's life has been up to lately (mainly, chasing Killian around, pulling whatever non-edible thing he has placed in his mouth). Stay tuned while we attempt to bring you our dusties!
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Megan & JakeHusband and wife who have a passion for their life of raising babies and trying to follow God's will. Archives
February 2017
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