This weekend was Belmont Abbey's homecoming which was very fun and exciting. We saw a lot of old friends and their new babies. Needless to say I never got around to writing my Friday post I promised.
I have been juggling opposing ideas in my head this past week in regards to my health and fitness journey. I suppose I am a little disheartened and I am not quite sure why, exactly. I am about 9 days away from completing my first 30 day fitness challenge and I am proud of myself. I have been sticking to my workouts and they have been challenging me. I feel good! But this weekend I didn't strive to eat healthy and allowed myself several "cheats." I knew I had to be okay with cheating if I was going to allow myself and I feel ready on this beautiful Monday to pick up where I left off. However, those little thoughts creep into my head asking me if I will be strong enough to continue. Will I keep working out after I complete the wonderfully structured 30 day challenge is complete? Will I just do the challenge over and over again even when I need to move on to a more difficult challenge? Will I be consistently motivated to cook healthy meals for me and my family every day? These challenges are hard and I am afraid of failure. I want to be healthy and fit and truly balanced. I think what is missing is my prayer life. I feel anxious about many things. "Martha, Martha, you are anxious about many things...And Mary has chosen the greater part." Ah-ha. I cannot keep this journey to myself or do it alone. I need to keep Christ at the center of this journey. I need to keep considering His will as I try to answer the questions I have and as I try to conquer my challenges. Just like motivating myself to prepare healthy meals and exercise daily I struggle to pray with purpose every day. This is something I need to add to my fitness and health journey. Progress: Pre-preg: 163 6 week PP: 175 Last weigh in: 170 weight (day 21): 170 Upgrades: God
0 Comments
Above is the last picture of me before Killian was born. I was probably about 37 weeks pregnant here.
Ever since I knew what a baby was I loved them. I am the youngest in my family and I would have been perfectly happy to be surrounded by several other little siblings. I constantly asked my parents to have more kids. Once that ship had sailed and I also realized the Lord was not calling me to a spiritual motherhood through religious life, I dreamed of becoming a mama one day. Jake and I have never truly used NFP to avoid pregnancy but were not necessarily trying to get pregnant early in our marriage either. If it happened, wonderful; it not, so be it. After a few months of some wacky cycles we decided I should start charting incase I had any trouble getting pregnant. Low and behold I was diagnosed with mild PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) due to high testosterone, a high BMI, and some really insane NFP charts with no ovulation present. I was blessed to work with a NaPro technology doctor who put me on a very low carb diet. I was allowed to eat 30 grams of carbs a day. Let me tell you, some granola bars have more than 30 grams of carbohydrates so needless to say the diet was challenging. I was ecstatic to find out that about two months after I started dieting and exercising, I was pregnant with Killian. Jake and I were so happy. I couldn't wait to start showing and feeling K move. I could have done without throwing up for the first 15 weeks but even that was reassurance that my baby was healthy and growing inside me. I really enjoyed being pregnant, minus the throwing up. I remember the first time I knew I felt Killian move was at the anatomy ultrasound. He was going insane inside me and I couldn't believe I wasn't able to feel all the action when suddenly he kicked really hard and I was able to see and feel him. What an extraordinary experience! Toward the end of my pregnancy he was so active and he was quickly losing space so the nausea was creeping back. The final days of pregnancy were not exactly my favorite because having a human inside you who is big enough to not live inside you anymore isn't very comfortable. I was also extremely eager to see my baby boy. Today I strolled across an Instagram of a birth and newborn photographer and although her pictures were a bit graphic I loved them. Childbirth is incredible and beautiful. Giving birth was easily the most difficult thing I have ever done but I love it more because of that. Seeing that baby for the first time and embarking on the amazing journey of raising them is the best gift in the world. Not to mention having your husband love you through your whole labor and delivery. I still love babies except now I love my baby and my family and I am excited to continue to have babies. There truly is nothing so special than loving your child and deepening your love with your spouse by having children. I will admit Jake and I "fight" more now than ever but we're all the better for it and its not Killian's fault. If anything, Killian helps us expose our vices and gives us opportunities to grow in virtue. I love my life. Those are my happy thoughts for the week. Enjoy my awkward videos? Great!
Here is my journey so far: Pre-pregnancy weight: 163 Post-pregnancy (At 6 weeks postpartum visit): 175 Weight at beginning of my health and fitness journey: 174 Weight today (day 11): 170 Balanced diet: I try to eat a balanced diet of protein, fat, and carbohydrates. I aim for 100% but I expect and am okay with achieving my health goals 80% of the time. Meal-time: Breakfast - whole milk Greek yogurt with fruit and granola bar OR bacon and eggs with or without multi grain sourdough or butternut squash hash browns Lunch - multi grain sourdough salami sandwich and an apple OR tuna with salad OR like today: apple, salami, Wisconsin cheddar, tortilla chips, black bean hummus. Dinner - steak fajita salad with some tortilla chips or beans, one pan chicken: sweet pots, chicken thighs, asparagus...I like easy "one dish" sort of meals. I also often cook my husband up some rice, biscuits, or buy tortillas for him since he isn't a sweet potato, bean - eater like myself. Snacks - apple and natural peanut butter or almond butter, handful of nuts or tasty trail mix, yogurt and fruit, granola bar, a glass of milk (is that weird?) Exercise: I have been following a 30 day fitness challenge I found on Pinterest! The author for the blog has graciously allowed me to share the challenge with you all! The 30 Day Fit For Fall challenge can be found: http://www.theseasonedmom.com/fit-fall-30-day-workout-plan-healthy-eating-challenge/ Observations: I have found that I really, truly do need to eat some kind of carbohydrate while nursing. I can kick a craving but I feel much too weak and end up ravenous. I have also found that if i allow myself a little bread or a few tortilla chips with my hummus that i don't over indulge. Since i am allowing myself those carbohydrates I have an easier time refusing ice cream for dessert too. What is my goal? I hope to create a habit of healthy thinking. I want to want to be regularly active in some fashion. I want to crave an apple and peanut butter more often than I crave cupcakes. I want to foster an environment for my family where there is a variety of complex and nutritious foods eaten daily and exercise is simply a part of life. I do want to lose weight as well and fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes again. I also want to get to a place where my PCOS won't effect my ability to get pregnant again in the future. Most importantly I want to be positive about my body. I want to speak kindly about myself especially in front of my children. I want health to be important but vanity to be a vice. I want to be patient, humble, kind and loving so that my children will see and imitate those virtues. This June when my new born baby was six weeks old my husband and I moved into our first house. We bought our house because we were living in a one bedroom apartment, paying rent to a dead-end. We wanted to build equity; we had to move anyways. The house charmed us immediately! It has arch ways you only expect to see in a 1940s home and thick trim on the light blue walls. The bathroom, although small, has the cutest floor tiles and the kitchen was recently flipped; replaced with Ikea products, according to the realtor. The house has a yard we hope to fence in the future and an attic that might turn into a loft. We experienced love at first sight with this house.
On move in day the air conditioning was not working and I was a little nervous about some of the crime reports from the adjacent streets. Despite the original "awe," a few thoughts about purchasing my first home have haunted my mind since then and my postpartum hormones have not helped. The move in was not easy; I had a brand new baby. My electricity bills make me cringe once a month and I've seen one too many bugs on the wrong side of the door. But its my new home. Something in my heart changed the other day as I walked around my new neighborhood on a humid morning. Maybe it was the progesterone shots flowing through my body in an attempt to ease some postpartum anxiety symptoms. However, what I realized was that much like myself, my home and my neighborhood are a diamond in the rough. We're both a little dusty and require some hard work to find our beauty and shine. It has always been there - it was created with beauty in mind - but just needs to be loved on. When God created the world He saw everything as good and beautiful. When He made man and woman He saw us as very good, very beautiful. When God created you, or me, or any person He loved him into existence and created a very beautiful person. What was God telling us in Gen. 3:19? After Adam and Eve sinned God reminded them that they were created out of nothing. They came from the dirt He created and now they must toil in the dirt to survive on account of their sin. Every Ash Wednesday we are reminded that we too are dust and to dust we shall return. Why? Because we have been disobedient too and we were made out of love intentionally by God from nothing. We did not have to be created; we were literally loved into existence and we completely owe our life to our Heavenly father. "And to dust [we] shall return." Life is hard! I do not like that the creepy crawlers of the Carolinas easily make way into my home (A lady bug just showed up...I'm in-doors) and that my utility bill is astronomical because my house lacks sufficient insulation. This is some of the dirt I toil in. Much like my neighborhood and my little 1940s home, I am a diamond in the rough. I am a fallen human. I am dust made into a daughter of the king and now a wife and mother through my vocation! I fall short time and time again and sometimes my life is hard for reasons I do not understand. I am not called to return to dust, I choose it in my failures just like Adam and Eve did when they disobeyed. I am called to reach out to my Heavenly Father, offer Him my suffering and ask Him to show me the beauty He created me in and for. Just like a diamond in the rough I need Him to show me what my beauty is because the dust clouds my vision. What are my talents and gifts? What are my blessings? He has shown me time and time again who I am despite the dust but first I have to realize that I too am dust and to dust I have and I will return. |
Megan & JakeHusband and wife who have a passion for their life of raising babies and trying to follow God's will. Archives
February 2017
Categories |