Sheesh, I really can't stay consistent with my posts can I? Welp, here are some current thoughts and updates on my blessed life. I have been struggling for almost 4 months now with the idea of sleep training Killian and getting him on a schedule. I graviate so naturally toward attachment parenting styles but there are certainly times I desperately need a handful of minutes to myself; not cleaning, not exercising, not cooking, not bathing or nursing or what have you. Jake and I decided to sleep train Killian about a month and a half ago using the Ferber CIO method. Honestly, I put him to sleep nursing and then let him cry when he woke up from me putting him down and he wimpered for a couple of minutes. It was so easy! We had a great three weeks of that and then he learned to stand and got better at crawling and developed some seperation anxiety and all went to heck. I had also gotten up to nurse Killian in the night. I figured going from co-sleeping and nursing practically all night to nothing at all would be a little tough on the guy so I eased into it. Once this fussy monster came around though, I was missing the nights alone with my husband in our bed. I took K in for his 6 month appointment and asked our pediatrician for advice, explaining how his sleep "training" had been until then. She told me she recommends CIO. I could check on him if it makes me feel better but its not necessary. She attemtped to reassure me that if he is fed and has a clean diaper, he really is fine and just learning something new. She also said to sleep and nap train him at the same time. She didn't give strict instructions but mentioned I should put him down almost asleep but not totally out. I mentioned to her I often nurse him to sleep and she said it would be alright to continue that but once he wakes up and cries in his crib to simply let him be. So this is how we did it and it was horrible!!!! My heart ached and I desperately tried to distract myself from his dramatic wails. She also told me he would be golden in three days. We've been sleep training for a week now and he still cries for almost 40 minutes sometimes. But, once he falls asleep he sleeps until 7-7:30am and he is happy! I have also learned that he has developed an expresive opinion about getting percisely what he wants and that expression is a very dramatic cry. It still hurts my mama heart deeply but he doesn't hate me, he is still very attached and comfort nurses a lot, and Jake and I have our bed back. I have attempted nap training a handful of times to no avail (once he cries for 30 minutes its not worth CIO for naps in my opinion). What I like to do is nurse him through that light sleep period then put him down. He does wake up but barely, and then he usually sleeps fine. I just got him up from an hour long nap, as a matter of fact. And he didnt cry when he got up. He just sat up and relaxed until I finally realized he was quietly watching the rain through the window. My struggle is finding the time when he can acheive these good naps. I am realizing that timing is crucial! I let K get over tired too much because I'm not sticking to my instincts or even listening to what they're telling me. If I give K what he needs, when needs it, I end up getting those handful of minutes I need to not feel like a wacked out crazy lady. I still struggle with my pull toward helping Killian acheive a little bit of independence and being an attached parent. I am happy to see that very, very slowly I am beginning to acheive a happy medium. Comfort nursing and CIO are not as polar opposite as so many mom-experts claim. A baby with a sleep association with nursing CAN and WILL sleep in his own crib without crying all night long. It is like his routine for sleep and then, pacifier or not, he can get into dream land and stay there for a decent amount of time. With my next baby I refuse to read any more parenting blogs/books/articles...etc. I just need to follow my mama instincts. One peice of advice that steals my peace is not allowing the baby to nap anywhere but his crib. My life does not allow this for Killian and it just has to work out and moreover I have to allow it to work. I guess you could say I am still struggling to listen to my heart and not get swept up in a lifestyle not realistic for me and my baby but I have moments where I feel like I'm slowly starting to get it.
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Megan & JakeHusband and wife who have a passion for their life of raising babies and trying to follow God's will. Archives
February 2017
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