Do you recall in my first post how I described some of the dust I kick around in my day to day life? Namely high utility bills and bugs in my house? Well the list has expanded exponentially since that post. Okay, maybe I am being terribly dramatic but I am beginning to feel like I cannot catch a break. I have been pondering the stress of buying a second car recently. Not because we need a second car or are actually looking into purchasing a second car but because I am afraid that we simply will not be able to ever afford one. I can't imagine adding another monthly payment to our tight budget. More car insurance, a possible car payment, another gas payment...I shutter. God must have been poking at my heart, giving me the opportunity to mentally prepare for the day when we would just have to buy a new car and not a second car, one to replace the only, single car we own. Unfortunately today is the day...or hopefully a few days from now (fingers crossed that I can make it to and from work tomorrow!). It seems eery to see that I have been thinking about how stressful this day would be and here it is. I struggle to understand what God's promptings upon my heart were asking me to do. I know I am suppose to simply trust Him. We always seem to make it through some how or another but my "trust" feels more like not reacting to the situation at all. I feel kind of numb like I am refusing to face reality because I don't want to shatter. A few weeks ago the new pay laws threatened my family with an unfavorable future and I started to panic. The day we found out the Gospel was, "Ask and you shall receive." I find that this theme must be turning these worrisome days in to a spiritual journey blessing. Trusting God and His mysterious ways is not easy for anyone. I for one have trouble with even knowing how to trust Him but I feel as though right now in these trying times (did I mention our heat doesn't work either?) I am called to ask God for help. I might not even know what he wants me to ask him for but I still must ask and be in relationship with him through prayer. I can ask him for the money to fix my house, or for a new car without financial strain, I can ask him to win the lottery and I can also ask him for the grace to accept his will and for the grace to unite my suffering with His. I can ask him for peace and for the grace to thank him for these trials because of the mysterious blessing they probably are, unknowingly to me. Oh God, you make beautiful things out of dust. Make something beautiful out of me and all my duties. Amen. Wearing Killian while he naps so he doesn't freeze to death in his crib.
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Megan & JakeHusband and wife who have a passion for their life of raising babies and trying to follow God's will. Archives
February 2017
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